Thanks Everyone!

I just wanted to take the time and thank everyone for all the well wishes and support. It means more to Matt and I then we can express. We will just keep on trucking right now and hope for the best.

Lots of Love,
Krista

Hoffman pity party, table for one

Hey Everyone,

I realize I have been incommunicado for a little while. I have bad news, I didn't react the way I should have to the Follitism shot. They gave me a lower dosage so I would not hyperstimulate, but my body apparently was not a fan and decided to not react at all. So when I went in, all I had was one big follicle hanging out on my left ovary. It was large though, 22 mm, and the nurse said that it probably means it is a really good egg. So they had to cancel the IVF cycle and do an IUI. For those that don't know, an IUI is interuterine insemination. It is where they take Matt's little swimmers, clean them up, remove all the slow ones and inject them back into my uterus via catheter. It is a much more natural procedure than IVF, which is why the odds are much lower. I, if course, was heartbroken to have to go back to IUI. I was so looking forward to this process, I wanted those 50/50 odds, not the IUI odds of 15-20%. So I have been incredibly mopey and poor Matt has to bear the brunt of it.

Let's move on the the good news, before I start my pity party all over again....

1.) The cycle was not a bust, I was still able to have some sort of procedure.
2.) Very little of the 7000.00 was used, so we have that in case we have to do this again.
3.) They start the next cycle right away so there is no wasted time.
4.) The chances of multiples are much lower, which means a pregnancy with less complications.
5.) There is an 86% chance after 4 cycles that you will be pregnant, so that is decent odds.
6.) The egg was the biggest I have ever had and probably a really good one.
7.) My uterine lining was nice and thick with the injectables. I am mentioning this because a side effect of clomid is a thin uterine lining and that may hurt implantation.

So you see, we do have a silver lining in my pitiful rain cloud.

I am looking into therapists and support groups dealing with this issue too. It would be nice to talk to people who are in the same boat and really understand what I am dealing with. That way Matt won't be the only person that has to deal with my mopetacular attitude. ;)

So, we will find out on the 8th if it worked. I am not getting my hopes up at all. After 3 failed attempts, you kind of take the situation as it is.

Lots of Love to you all! Thanks for reading. :)

Krista

Disheartened

I went to the Dr this am for a ultrasound and blood work. I had a bunch of follicles, one that was 16, one 13, 12, 11, 9, 12, and 13. There was about 7-8 together on both ovaries. The nurse was a little surprised at the 16 one, they said that they all should be around the same size. She said that the Dr may want me to start Antagon tonight which is a shot that slows growth and promotes more follicles to pop up. She said she would call.

So I get a call at lunch time and she said that after getting the blood work back, that my estrogen levels are lower then expected so they are going to hold off on the Antagon. It could change for tomorrow's appointment but it is really up the air. They can cancel the procedure, wait longer for the transfer, switch it to an IUI, or I could have my estrogen levels increase and everything will be fine.

I, of course, tend to be pessimistic when it comes to these things because we have had such rough luck with fertility. Today was a little disheartening for sure, but tomorrow is a new day! So we will focus on the good and learn from the bad.

Lots of Love to you all :)
Krista

Things that made me laugh...

Shots and Follicles: Part 1

I have been taking my follitism and menapur each night. By taking, I mean having Dr. Hoffman poke me in my belly and thighs with needles. Fortunately, I have enough belly fat to make it much less painful then it could be (That's right skinny girls, sucks to be you). The first time we did it, we forgot to let the alcohol dry and that hurt like a mofo. Now it is just a routine. Although, I am having a few side effects to the medicine. I am having some headaches, cramping, bat shit craziness, and fatigue.  Silly Matt Hoffman said the wrong thing to me Thursday morning and I flew of the handle. I was screaming, pointing, slamming doors, the whole enchilada. Then I drove to work whistling some merry tune about an hour later. Later on, at work,  I was staring at my computer screen and started crying. What about you ask, well it was nothing. I was staring at my computer and I just started crying. Matt is now calling me the " Emotional Rollercoaster" and you can imagine how much I LOVE that.

I also went to the Dr. today and the measured the follicles. Estrogen levels are good and I have four decent sized follicles popping up, two on each ovary. Follicles are basically eggs when they are still attached the the ovaries, in case you didn't know. One was like 12mm, another was 11, and then there was like a 9 and an 8 or something like that. She said that I will probably have a bunch more pop up towards the end which is good stuff. The news I was most excited about though is that I am reacting to the medicine the way that I am supposed to be. No need to change or alter the medication, no hyperstimulation at this point, I am reacting like a normal person medically inducing the creation of life.

On pins and needles

Here is a picture of my arm with the pins from acupuncture. It doesn't hurt normally, today it was actually super relaxing. It feels like your body is awake, it tingles. I was explaining to my Mom and that it was like the moment after your leg or foot or whatever wakes up after being asleep.  I tried to get a few more pictures but they turn the lights off so I couldn't get my phone to not flash like crazy, it must have been reflecting off my whitest of white skin.
I will try to get some off my leg or belly next time, that is where the majority of the needles go.
It's kind of neat though, I would suggest it for stress relief any day.

Lots of Love,
Krista

Supression is done, man.

There is nothing too post worthy has been going on, I am in a holding patttern right now. I did complete the birth control, so that is good. All the suppressing of the ovaries are complete and we start the shots on Monday. Then I have acupuncture. I have yoga for fertility dvd I plan on doing today, some of those moves are so funny, maybe I will post me doing one, just so you can see it.....

Estimated due date, just for fun!

Based on a retrieval date of July 27 and a sperm/egg fusion of July 29th, the due dates could be as follows:

For Singletons: April 20th

For Twins: March 29th

Since we are not pregnant nor have we done any procedures, this is just to make me smile. I would love twins but the birthstone of April is a diamond,which I much prefer to aquamarine (March). So if those twins could hold it in for a couple more days I could get come out of the deal with a pair of babies and diamonds. ;D

Command Center up and Running

A little more organized. I have two injectable bins and then one for daily medicines. The calender is peel and stick and I just outlined my fertility appts, the medicine begin and end dates and the acupuncture appts. I feel like a million times better just getting this together. I still need to get a cork board but that can wait til next week. Now I don't feel like my kitchen is a mess either, which is nice.

PTO and Dr. Appts

So I figured out today that I have 9 scheduled Dr. Appts from today until the 25th. But I did find out that it looks pretty good for my work to let me be out 5 days with no pay instead of having to take FMLA and needing medical releases and all that, which is nice. I have to say, Paychex, my supervisors, managers, and my co-workers have been nothing but awesome and supportive about this whole thing. Alot of corporations overlook the humanistic aspect of their employees and just see numbers, but Paychex has really been stellar about the whole thing.

Needles and Enya = some sweet ass acupuncture

SO! I made all my acupuncture appts today, well, let me amend that statement by saying I have made 3 acupuncture appts today leading up to all the big stuff. Acupuncture is "supposed" to increase fertility chances by anywhere from 35-65%, depending on the sources and research you do. Why it works, there are differing ideas:

1.) It gets the blood moving to the uterus and essentially "wakes" up the nervous system.
2.) It is damn relaxing and women who are going through fertility are all stressed out. It calms them down and boosts the chances of implantation and pregnancy.
3.) Placebo effect

I have done it already, it doesn't hurt and I usually snooze through the whole thing.

I will take a couple pics so you can see me all pinned up. It is pretty neat.

Lots of love to you all!
Krista

Plans and such

Today's appointment was something. We had to go through the treatment and all the what ifs. There is a real danger of hyperstimulation which causes a fluid build up in your lungs, kidneys, and abdomen. You can be hospitialized and it can be potentially fatal. BUT, I trust my Doctor and the plans that we have in set up in order to avoid all that nonsense.

Plan A: My body acts like a rockstar on the meds. I can do a regular cycle, throw some fresh embryos in there and call it a day until the blood test for pregnancy.

Plan B: This plan is not my favorite. It would be if I get that hyperstimulation, then they would stop the cycle, we would be out 3500.00 and then we would have to wait a month to to a frozen cycle with three embryos.

Plan C: I react well to lower dosages of all the meds. No hyperstimulation, no illness, just a plain cycle with lower dosage of drugs. Almost like Plan A light.

So really it is a waiting game at this point. I am taking birth control until the 11th (weird right, taking birth control to get pregnant) and then I have an appoinment on the 9th for a check in. We did go over all the drugs and I am feeling more confident on getting injected with multiple medicines every night.

This weekend,  I am going to create a Fertility Comand Center in my kitchen with cork and dry erase boards to keep this straight. I will take pictures once it is up and running. I need to have some way of tracking the meds and all the appoinments.

That's all for now Ladies and Gents, thanks for reading. :)

Names for the future leader of the free world... ;)

WOW! I am post crazy today. My sister suggested that I mention some of the names we have talked about for when I get pregnant. We are trying to figure out twin's names too because they are going to transfer two embryos and the chance of twins is high. And the names we like:

Girl 1: Arabella Grace Hoffman
Girl 2: Adelaide Louise Hoffman
Boy 1: Henry Paul Hoffman
Boy 2: Max Albert Hoffman

These are all, of course subject to change. But my husband has been throwing out some doozies that I think would be funny to share.

1. Icarus-  (really, Icarus, I was like Matt, you want our kids nickname to be Icky?)
2. Maximus- since we are going to have a Max he wanted to give him a full name. He also mentioned Maximillion.
3. Albert Henry Hoffman- now this is his Dad's name and I think it is super cute that he wants to honor his Dad. So we came up with Henry (Matt's Dad) Paul (My Dad). But that was a begrudging compromise. He really wants to have a Baby Al.

I wish I could think of the rest of them that he threw out there.  He hated a few that I mentioned as well:

1.) Zoe - he thinks it sounds like a good name for a cat- I think he is thinking of Chloe and getting them mixed up. I LOVE Zoe. I think it is adorable.
2.) Colette or Vivienne - Apparently they sound too much like french prostitutes for him.

So I guess we will just cross the baby name bridge when we get to it!

Lovety Love this T-shirt

I found this shirt on Cafe Press and thought it was too funny. It says, "Conceived in a dish, born into awesomeness". Totally buying that!

More needles than a drug addict: MEDS GALORE

So let's see, on this road to fertility (I hate using that term because it sounds so damn hokey, but it is what it is), we have had 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks. We have done 3 IUI's (Inseminations) with negative outcomes, so we are starting IVF this month.

So far we have done the trial transfer, where they check out the ol' uterus to see if everything is copasetic. It was. Then I cleared a pharmacy out of the meds, which was nice and expensive. I have included a pic of the good stuff above. We have an appointment with the nurse on Tuesday so she can go over the medications and Matt adminstering them. More to come on that. Welp, I need to go clean and make some egg salad for the week now... :)

Introducing...The Hoffman's..

This is my husband and I, we have been married for 7 years, together for 13 and trying to get pregnant for 6 years. He is pretty awesome. The reason for the fertility issues is I have PCOS, a stupid hereditary disease that has a plethora of fun symptoms. But the real kicker of it is it, is makes it pretty difficult to get pregnant on your own, well that and it is incredibly difficult to lose weight but that is a story for a whole different blog. ;)