15 Weeks

The babies are the size of a NAVEL ORANGE!!!! :)

• They can sense light and movement although their eyes are fused shut.
• They are forming taste buds.
• Gender can be figured out (possibly) at this week.
• They can hiccup.
• They squirm and move all the time.
• Their joints and limbs can all move now.

So Christmas was good to Babies Hoffman. They received lots of diapers and wipes, clothes, blankets, and other fun stuff. I will try to get a pic of what we have so far. I also was super excited to actually have an elderly couple talk to me about my pregnancy. I am getting out of the stage of just looking super fat which I am a fan of.

I had a Dr Appt today. I have gained 2 lbs total. So my weight gain is pretty minimal right now. The high risk specialist came back with both babies being just fine (we had the downs syndrome testing done). We heard both their little heartbeats, 160 and 153. So all is well. I have another Dr appt with the high risk specialists on the 3rd and I think we get to see them then, which is exciting. :)

More next week for sure.

Lots of Love!
Krista

14 weeks

As you can see, this week the babies are the size of a lemon.

• Our babies can now squint, frown, grimace and pee (lucky me!)
• They are developing Languno, hair that grows over their little bodies to keep them warm. They will lose it before they are born.
• Their livers and spleens are in working order.
• They are super duper active.

They are moving and a shaking, sweet little things. Can't wait to see hear them on Friday with the sonogram. :)

Lots of Love,

Krista

My favorite Christmas presents aren't under the tree

13 Weeks

Hello Everyone,

Well we went to see Dr. West on Monday, sad news is that she won't be doing anymore ultrasounds until week 20, so we will have to wait awhile before we get any new pictures. Although, I am seeing the high risk specialist on Jan. 3rd, so they may have more pictures then. Exciting news is that we got to hear the heartbeats through the external sonogram, which was the first time that we ever did that. It was just too cool!

So this week the babies are the size of a PEACH!!!

• Their fingerprints have formed.
• Their vocal cords are forming.
• Their intestines are moving from their umbilical cord into their little tummies.
• If one is a girl, she already has 2 million eggs in her little ovaries.

Every week we have them and they are okay is a blessing to us. We just pray they continue to grow and thrive, because we are just so overjoyed with them already. I know that they said that it usually happens later, but last night I felt some movement. I had just read them a The Three Little Bears (I know they can't hear it yet but I do it anyway) and played them Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. All of the sudden, it felt like a little tiny fish or butterfly floated inside my belly. It was really amazing. I can't wait until Matt can feel the kicks so he can be amazed by it too.  :)

Also, I would like to use a moment for all that read my blog to take a moment and pray for those babies and adults lost in the shooting in Connecticut. As I am celebrating each moment with the ones that are growing in my belly, I can't help but think of those poor families that lost their babies in that school. God be with them and comfort them in this time of great tragedy.


Lots of Love to you all,
Krista

12 weeks -Closing in on the final few days of the first trimester

Hello Everyone!

I am 12 weeks pregnant today. We also had the opportunity to see the babies which was super exciting. We had to go see a high risk specialist at Rush Copley today because he needed to do some genetic testing and look at the hemorrhage that I have. We did the test for Downs where they check the blood and measure the necks, we should know if we are at risk in a couple weeks. They also checked the hemotoma/hemorrhage and it was smaller than last time, it was 6 x 2 cm and last time it was 10 x 2 cm. We were able to tell that it is behind Baby A and not Baby B. I told Matt that it is a good thing that Baby A is a little less wiggly then Baby B, otherwise we may have had some bad results earlier. They didn't seem incredibly concerned, he says they see them a lot with IVF patients and with twins.

Things going on with the babies this week:

• Our babies are the size of a PLUM!
• Most of their critical systems are formed.
• They are about to enter the growth and maturation stage, in which her organs and tissues with grow and develop rapidly.
• They are developing reflexes, so if you poke them, they will move.
• They are open and closing their little fingers.
• Their brains are developing quickly.

I am still tired and throwing up all the time. I can't wait to get further in the pregnancy so I can enjoy it a little more! I can't wait for this stupid hemotoma to go away as well, damn thing is driving me nuts.

I have an appt with Dr. West on Monday of next week so I will try to post some more pics then.

Lots of Love to you All!

Krista Hoffman

11 Weeks

Good Evening ALL!

Today I am 11 weeks, which is super exciting. We went to the OB last night and saw the babies. They are getting really big, they said it would probably be my last internal ultrasound. Their heartbeats were really good and they were bouncing off the walls. Literally. Baby A was bouncing off the uterine walls like a springboard. Bad news, they checked the hemotoma and it increased in size. It is 10 x 2 now, which I am not fond of. They are sending us to high risk pregnancy specialists at Rush Copley next week. We would have had to see them anyway because of the twin factor but I am hoping they can shed some more light on the hemotoma and getting it fixed. I just want it to go away so the miscarriage chance goes away and I can really enjoy having these little bundles.

The babies are:

• The size of a lime.
• They have see through skin and their bones are hardening.
• Their nails and teeth are growing.
• The move fluidly and gracefully.

I am:

• Have a decent baby belly a'brewin.
• Still throwing up morning and night.
• Have leg cramps that make me want to amputate.
• Oily skin has decreased a bit, thank the lord!
• My hair is fuller and has more body....loving it.

I will update once I know more from the high risk specialists. Please keep us in your thoughts, prayers, send us good vibes, whatever your transportation of positive energy may be...

Matt and I are off to Madison this weekend to see my favorite Band of Horses play. Matt called ahead and they are giving us the chance to get in before general admission because of my pregnancy so I can find the most opportune seat for someone who can't stand all night. Awwww YEAH!

Lots of love,
Krista

Twin Humor for you! :)

10 Weeks-Happy Turkey Day!! :)

Good Morning All!

I STRESS morning because it is 3:00 am and I am up because of leg cramps. They are so uncomfortable. But the good news is that I am 10 weeks today. :)

So the babies are.....

• The size of a prune (about 1.5 centimeters)
• They are growing hair and fingernails now.
• They are swallowing and kicking.
• If there is a male baby in there, his testes are already producing testosterone.
• They are starting to grow bones, cartilage, and elbows.
• Their organs are done forming (they will just keep growing in size) and are functional.
• In the next few weeks they will triple in size.

I would say my morning sickness is slowing down, but yesterday it was pretty awful. I have started eating crackers as soon as I wake up in the morning. Matt is as overprotective as he always has been, I can't groan without him asking, "What's wrong, are the babies okay?". We started going over our budget and expenses for when I stay home which was fun, it made this all a little more real.

Well, I guess, since I am up, I will go make a grocery list for Matt Hoffman. Because he looooooves grocery shopping so much. :)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone! I hope it is a great day.

Lots of Love,
Krista

Apparently movies about vampires cause internal bleeding...

Sunday night, after watching the final Twilight movie, Matt and I stopped at my parents to drop off a refrigerator for the junk guy. I went into the the bathroom and noticed there was A LOT of blood and clots. So I freaked out of course, and went the the ER scared that I was losing one or both of the babies.

They admitted me, got me in the gown, checked my vitals and got me to drinking water for the ultrasound tech to do an external ultrasound and then an internal ultrasound. I am crying and worried, and I am bleeding everywhere. We went the the ultrasound room and he got me ready and when I went to sit down, it was like a flood gate was opened, it was all over the floor and the bed. It was horrible and humiliating and I just knew that everything was over then. I just waited for the inevitable bad news. I have never had that much bleeding except for when I had the miscarriage.

The tech gets me cleaned up and does the external first. He can't see much of the babies since I am not very far along, just the sacs. Then he goes to do the internal (warning me that it will of course, bleed a lot more after) and I am shaking and breathing in short gasping breaths, I thought they were going to have to sedate me. He got in there and looked and both babies heartbeats were good! We had 173 and 178 and they were both dancing. We got to see their heartbeats and hear them which was like music.

So they wheeled me back to my room and was made ready for the gyno exam as well. The Dr checked and my uterus was closed which is a good sign. If it was open that would mean that a miscarriage is pending. So he left to review my charts and basically said that I was in the threatened miscarriage category. That I needed to stay home for the next few days and put my feet up and that the babies have an 80/20 chance of survival. He thinks the blood loss was from the hemotoma, which was 27x14 and they measured it again at 8 x 5. So it basically went from a medium hemotoma to a small one.

It was so scary. I just wish I could be normal with a normal pregnancy. I should buck up, I know, because a lot of people can't have children and I am pregnant with two. It is just these ups and downs all the time that are really getting to me. I will feel better once the hemotoma is gone for good.

Love,
Krista

9 Weeks

Hello Everyone,

Hope you are all well! I had my nine week appt today and the babies are GREAT. The heartbeats are perfect, their size is perfect, the hemotoma is decreasing or stabilizing, so we are doing well. I have had pretty much the same symptoms but they now include cramping and a stuffy nose. I love these little things so much already and I haven't even met them yet. Oh and I have only gained 2 lbs!! I have been really good and didn't want to make this any harder by gaining a ton of weight, so I was really happy about that too.

Fun Facts:

• The babies are officially fetuses this week.
• They are about the size of a large olive.
• They look much more humanoid and adorable by the way....
• Their eyes are fully formed but their eyelids are fused shut for a couple more weeks.
• They are forming tiny teeth.
• Most of the basic physiology is in place, now they just have to start gaining the weight.

and now for the best part, a picture and a video. I will add more later, Matt is chomping at the bit to send the pics to his parents. ;)

 

8 Weeks

Hello Everyone,

Welp, 8 weeks this week. I had a Doctor appt today and got to see the little sea urchins. Well now they look like gummy bears and less like urchins. The heartbeats are good and the hematoma is a little smaller if not the same size. But they were not concerned.

The babies are the size of raspberries today. Their legs and arms are a'kicking away, and they are developing taste buds already. They grow at a millimeter a day.

My symptoms are the same nausea, exhaustion, sore chest, vomiting, bloating, and extreme sense of smell. I am like a damn bloodhound right now. Matt had some casserole on Sunday and I had to actually cover my nose.

So we are good. Matt is still doing all the cooking and cleaning. He is actually making me walnut crusted tilapia with a vegetable melange tonight. Awesome.

I need to get the pics up soon! :)

Lots of Love,
Krista

7 Weeks Pregnant

Hello All,

On Tuesday, we were able to not only see the flutter but hear the heartbeats which is exciting. Once you hear the heartbeats the chances of miscarriage decrease. Although anything can happen still, that is a pretty nice feeling. They were really beating along, cute little things. :)

The hematoma is still there, still the same size. I basically go to work and lay in bed. That has been my life for the last couple weeks. Matt is now doing all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, and he has been really great. I know he hates it, I don't really love it either, but what can you do. It can take weeks if not months for this thing to go away so we will just keep hoping and praying it dissipates.

I have started wearing maternity pants and shirts, things were starting to get tight and I was uncomfortable. I don't have much of a belly yet but I sure will soon enough so I figured I should get used to them. I need to go buy more actually, but being on modified bed rest hasn't helped that. I guess I can use the good ol' Internet. I really need to buy a maternity winter coat (I originally typed goat and that cracked me up), my current ones are not buttoning over my chestal area.

Things about my pregnancy this week:

• I am feeling more pregnant, like body wise. I just feel less normal, I don't really know how to describe it.
• I have a small bump, nothing like those magnificent ones people have at 32 weeks but I can tell something is there.
• My skin is like pre teen oily. That's what the pregnancy glow is, the hormones making your skin look like an oil slick.
• My hair is oily, that just started this week so this is a symptom that I have to get used to.
• Cravings...... I wanted some pickle dip, a steak, and peanut butter mnm ice cream last night. I had none of the above. My nutrition czar is really watching my non-healthy intake. ;)
• I am really tired all the time. I fell asleep like 4 times last night just hanging out at home.
• I have to pee 87 times a day. I am drinking a lot of water but sweet lord I have never been in the bathroom so much in my life.  
• Not really as hungry as I was a couple weeks ago. It is nice to not consume as much a teenage boy does.

I think that is all for now folks, I have pictures but you can't really see a whole lot. I will post some once they look less amphibian and more human.

Love,
Krista

A Pre Halloween Scare

Today was a rough day. I went to work, humming a happy tune, a little sleepy and vomit-ty but that is normal. Then I started to bleed about 10 minutes into work. I FREAKED out. I was hyperventilating and crying like a crazy person and I hightailed it out of work sure that I was losing one or maybe both of the babies. My work was so wonderful, by the way, the offered to have someone drive me home, they were able to understand my unintelligible speech through my sobs, they were just awesome.

So I am crying and begging God, please don't take them, please don't take both, please god don't do this again, I actually probably should have had someone drive me home. While I was on the way home, Matt called the doctors office. The OBGYN said we should go to the fertility doctor so we called him and he didn't have an opening until 3:00. They said to put my feet up, rest, and drink plenty of fluids. So I got into bed and cried some more knowing that the past was going to repeat itself. I was so tired from the emotional craziness that I feel asleep.

Matt woke me up and we drove all the way out to the Crest Hill office. It was a long drive and Matt and I were both super nervous. We got into the office and although the bleeding had almost subsided we were still scared. The Doctor did the scan and we saw both little heartbeats. We were so shocked and elated. They were such cute little flutters.He measured them both and they were both the same size which is a good sign too, it means that they are both growing normally.

Then he moved over to the area that was causing the bleeding. I have a blood pocket caused by implantation behind one or both of the babies (he couldn't tell because of the angle).  He said that 9 out of 10 times it is fine. It will go away on it's own. The dangerous part is that the blood pocket doesn't leave an area for the placenta and baby to really stick in there and grow. If they don't have a place to do so then it won't end well. So I am praying that pocket goes away quickly and I can rest easily again.

The bleeding and pocket is exacerbated by lots of movement, so he wanted me to relax and put my feet up for the next 3-4 days. No cleaning and cooking or working. I have another Doctor apt on the 30th so they will check the blood pocket again to see where it is at. He didn't seem super concerned about it but he wants me to take it easy at home and at work until we get to the 12 week mark. So Matt is in charge of cooking and cleaning right now, which he loves... ;)

So that is where I am right now. We are happy that both babies are alive and fine and we are optimistic that the blood pocket will go away so the babies can grow like they should.

Lots of Love,
Krista

6 Weeks

Hey Everyone,

I didn't update my blog to let you know what we found out on Monday. It is TWINS. There are two tiny little black orbs with yolk sacs and fetal poles. I will try to get pic up of them this weekend. We are uber excited. Like over the moon excited. I am just hoping and praying that they both stay with us. I know, I am super greedy, but I want them both.

We, of course, are hoping for a boy and a girl because then we are done with this whole making a baby situation. But we will be happy with whatever happens.

At six weeks, my morning sickness has been a little more crazy, I throw up or am feeling like I am going to throw up at least 3-5 times a day. I am also extra moody and tired. I wanted ice cream yesterday, coffee flavored ice cream specifically, so we went to the store. Matt went in alone because I have been living in pajama pants when I get home. I said, "I want coffee flavored ice cream or strawberry or cookie dough." He came out with a strawberry shortcake smart ones and strawberry fruit juice bars. Blech. I was like, dude, I am pregnant and I should get what I want." (plus I am eating SUPER healthy so a bowl of ice cream was not going to break the bank). I didn't eat either of them. Then we went back for Oreo ice cream tonight. About 15 minutes later I threw it all up. So I guess I didn't need it after all.

We get to hear the heartbeats on Tuesday. I am super excited about that. I just want the confirmation that they are growing and developing and nothing bad is happening. We are just so skittish from our last experience that everything make us nervous. Random cramps, soreness, headaches, it is just so scary.

No one reminded us of this part when we started IVF. We were so darn focused on getting pregnant that I forgot what it is like to actually be pregnant and to worry all the time about the outcome. But I read a really excellent quote about worrying that I have started taking as my "mantra" during this. It can really be used in a ton of situations so feel free to steal it. :)


"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due." - Ralph Waldo Inge

Lots of Love,
Krista

5 weeks and 1 day

Hi Everyone,

Just a short update. I am 5 weeks and one day today. So I we are getting there. Only 7 more weeks until we finish out this trimester and I can rest a little easier. I am still super tired, like 2 naps a day tired, nauseous, sore, and bloated. My belly is getting bigger, I think from the bloating. I am being pretty careful with my eating, lots of veggies and protein. Although Wednesday, I had a terrible day at work and stopped and the grocery store. I bought Ruffles, bacon dip, moose tracks, that Hersey's hardening ice cream stuff, olives, cream cheese, bacon bits and crescent rolls (for an appetizer). Matt talked me down when I got home. I was ready to eat it all!

We find out Monday if it is doubles. Then the Wednesday after that we get to hear the heartbeat/heartbeats so that is exciting. I am just so scared right now that we will lose it again, I am scared to get too excited about anything. Matt says that I should just relax but it is really hard. So the next 2 months couldn't be over fast enough for me.

Well that is all right now my friends.

Lots of love to you all! :)

Sincerely,
Krista

Beta Check 2!

Good Evening All,

My last Beta check was on Friday, October 12th and I was at 178. I was freaking out all weekend, worried that if the number did not double that I may have a chemical pregnancy and have to do this whole thing all over again. But today I got that wonderful call that said I am at 641. So my levels almost tripled. So I think it is safe to say we have a baby on the way.

I am 4 weeks and 3 days today. So around 6 weeks is when they say you can see the heartbeat. We have an ultrasound on the 30th so we will see how many we have growing in there. I do have a lot of the symptoms already; fatigue, sore boobs, super bloating, extreme hunger, morning sickness, heightened sense of smell, just to name a few. I will keep you updated on the progress. I hope and pray that this works out, I really can't want to be a Mom.

Lots of Love to you all!
Krista

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

I thought I would let you guys see a glimpse of Matt and I having our Winner Winner Chicken Dinner celebration. After this we went to Trader Joe's where Matt bought a plethora of organic meats, veggies, eggs and bread because he wants to best for his baby/babies. Apparently I was chopped liver before I was pregnant.... LOL :)

Love,
Krista

HCG Levels

So as all of you may know, my blood test came back Friday with a big fat positive! My level is at 178 and they were looking for me to be between 50-100. I have another test on Monday and my levels need to double, so we are just hoping and praying for a 350+ tomorrow.

I have had some morning sickness, bloating and a couple other symptoms so that is good. We really want this to go full term, so I am so nervous this time. I wish I didn't have that sadness to overshadow this happiness but it is what it is. I don't think I will be able to rest easy until that 12-13 week mark comes along.

On a lighter note, my Mom and my Grandma have already bought me some super cute maternity outfits. My sister bought the baby some body wash and shampoo and a couple toys (too cute).  So the outpouring of support is really wonderful.

Matt and I went out to Popeye's on Friday for our winner winner chicken dinner and then to Trader Joe's. He is so picky about me eating organic and getting the right proteins, it is super cute.

I will keep you updated on the blood levels tomorrow. I pray that they are high. :)

Love,
Krista

Getting Excited

Hello Everyone!

Just a quick update to say I am super excited about Friday. I really want to get in there and get my blood tested. I just want this to work so much. Updates on my symptoms are; I am super tired, I smelled a few things today and wanted to vomit, my boobs are super sore, and I have some cramping. Hopefully that is not just the Progesterone talking....

Well I will let you know what's up Friday....

Love you all!
Krista

Progesterone Check

Hey Everyone!

Just went and got my progesterone check today. I will get the results today, but they want the levels to be at 30, I really don't know why but that is what they said. I think they just want to make to comfortable for the little blastocysts to grow.

I don't have any symptoms yet, but it is only 3 days after. I mean I am pretty tired and have had random cramping but that doesn't really mean a whole lot. I am just trying to wait these two weeks out and keep my head on. I just have to keep myself grounded and say, it is only 50/50, don't get to excited, it may not work....it is an unfortunate mantra but helpful.

I did buy a super cute pair of cream maternity jeans at Goodwill yesterday. My friend Candace told  me to check there for clothes and they have a lot of stuff that still has tags on it. They were cream, with the tags on, in my size, for 4.00. So I was like, why not, I will hopefully use the at some point.
I hope to use them at Christmas time.

I really hope these little guys stick, this has been a really exhausting journey.


Love you all!
Krista

Two little babies floating around

Good Evening,

 

Before the Transfer

Today was the day. After a night of very little sleep and a bumpy morning, we were excited to get some good news at the doctors. We had 5 eggs mature! We had one that was catagorized as very good, or the best and one as average. They were the ones that were transferred today. The embroyologist believed that the one that he marked average was actually higher than average but was actually in the process of splitting. He said that I am probably going to get pregnant so that is good news.



Average egg in the process of splitting

Considered very good, the best quality egg

I have included some images of the transferred eggs. The left one is the average egg that is in the process of splitting. The right is the perfect egg. You can tell by the fragmentation around the egg. The better the egg, the less fragmentation.

I have also included an ultrasound of the little fertilized eggs in the liquid they were injected. If you look at the picture the two bright white lines in the middle are the eggs.

So I am supposed to take it easy and hope for these little fertilized eggs to implant. That is the most important thing now, to get these little babies to stick.

Thanks for checking in!

Love,
Krista

QUIET! Embabies growing in progress. :)

Hey Everyone,

So Rona, the nurse, called me today!! I had:

10 Eggs Retrieved
9 Eggs Mature
7 Eggs Fertilize through ICSI

We have 7 embabies dividing and conquering their petri dishes right now. Rona said that she is hoping that we will get 4-5 to mature so we have some to get in there on Sunday and some to freeze for the next go round, if there is one.

We don't know anything of egg quality yet. The don't like to look in on them while they are growing, in fear that it may harm them, so we will know more on Sunday morning. The doctor is going to give me a spreadsheet with egg quality and pictures, so we know what we are dealing with.

Matt said that this is the fastest he had ever wished a weekend to go by. I said I wouldn't go that far, lol... I am just so ready for this. I really pray for a positive blood test.

My acupuncturist doesn't work on Fridays so I will make one for Monday and Wednesday next week. Then Saturday, my mom is helping me make a week's worth of freezer meals so I won't have to be on my feet much, we really want to help those little eggs as much as we can. My mom bought me a pineapple, I have to go get like 5 more since you are supposed to eat the core. I think I am going to blend it in ice and make it like a healthy smoothie.

That's all for now, I will update you Sunday once those little guys are back with me.

Lots of Love,
Krista

They are out and about now

Good Evening!

I had the procedure this morning, as you all know. It went swimmingly. Matt and I got there about 20 minutes early and waited for them to call us in. I got to put on a very attractive gown/hair net combo as seen here --------------->

They went over the retrieval process and what will be going on with the transfer back on on Sunday. Then into the room I went, I was put under and that is about all I remember.

I woke up in a little dark room and the nurse brought me goldfish, a juice pouch, and Matt. I don't know which one I was happier to see. I was so hungry and thirsty at this point. She came back in and said that they were able to get 10 follicles out of the retrieval. So that is good, we are hoping for 8 to fertilize, then assume 3 will stop growing and really are hoping for 5 fertilized embryos when all is said and done.

We left pretty quick after that and even though the doctor said not to, because we are rebels, we went to Buona Beef. I still wasn't going to eat heavy though, I just has a nice caprese panini and ate half, whilst my dear husband had a combo with cheese fries. This story as just to illustrate how annoyed I was that I couldn't have the same (although lord knows I shouldn't!). ;P

ANYways, I feel asleep on the way home and then slept the whole rest of the afternoon until Matt came home from work. So that was from 11-4, needless to say, I was totally out of it. I have been really super sore all day, but I am just starting to feel normal again.

We just took the progesterone shots at 8 and then I am taking some other oral medications that I couldn't name or explain the need for. There are 5 of them including the shot every night.

 I can't wait for the transfer back in. It is so exciting to get this far!!Matt said that I can actually tell pregnant on Sunday because there will be a fertilized egg (two of them) in my uterus. Semantics. We will wait to spread the good news (hopefully!) until after the beta test.

Love you guys! Take care. :)
Krista

She's ready to POP

I had another ultrasound yesterday to check my follicle size and my estrogen levels. It was a crowded little room looking at my lady parts, there was the nurse, the doctor, and a medical resident in training. When they looked at my ovaries, they were practically cheering at how well I am responding (I am serious too, the resident actually said, "wow"). I had a bunch of nice size follicles that will be ready for tomorrow (I will explain more what tomorrow entails in un momento). I had 11-12 viable follicles that will be transferred out. They ranged in size from 15-22 mm, which are pretty darn big. The doctor actually said, "She is ready to pop!", which was him vocalizing how I feel right now.

So they had us continue last night with my regular dosage of follitism, menopur, and antagon. But they added a new shot to the mix. The HCG shot, which is the one that forces ovulation. So TOMORROW is the transfer out!!!! I know, it was super fast this time. We have to be at the Crest Hill clinic tomorrow at 8:30, the procedure should be around 9:00.

What they will do is put me under, then they are going to insert a ultrasound wand with a special attachment in, it will have a very long needle that actually sucks out the follicle liquid and the eggs into a little vial. Seconds after the procedure, that vial is given to the egg specialist in the window, who in in a room adjacent to the operating room. He will put the eggs into a dish. Then he will check the quality of the eggs, they have grading methods based on color, quality, size, shape, and he will throw out bad eggs. My nurse said we are hoping to get about 8 eggs after this is all said and done.

Then they will add Matt's contribution to the dish and let those little guys fertilize. If they don't fertilize on their own, the nurse will force fertilize them through a procedure called ICSI (intro cytoplasmic sperm injection). Then they let those little embryos grow. They will remove the ones that don't and when is all said and done, Matt and I are hoping for at least 5 fertilized eggs so we can freeze a few.

Then Sunday, we will go back to have the two best and brightest fertilized eggs transferred back in. We start the progesterone shots that are hoped to make a little baby Xanadu. After that, we can just hope and pray that they latch on and grow. We will find out if it worked probably around the 12-13 of October. If it doesn't, then hopefully we can use the leftover frozen eggs to transfer in and try it again.

So as you can see, LOTS going on right now. I am going to schedule an acupuncture appt for Friday and for Monday and eat alot of pineapple after the transfer (it is a anti-inflammatory that is supposed to help). Then next week, I am on light duty, very little cleaning and cooking, I am just going to put my feet up and relax and hopefully it will work.

Thanks for checking in! We appreciate all the love and support. :)


Love,
Krista

A little humor....

Bloated and Bruised

So I got on the scale today and I had gained about 5-6 lbs since last week. I almost cried. I have been so good with my points. So I went to my Dr. Appt and they checked my ovaries, I had 15 follicles on both sides! They all ranged from 14-20mm, so they were big too. So I asked the nurse if me gaining weight was normal, she was like, "it sure is, you are retaining a ton of water with all these follicles". THANK THE LORD!

But I am reacting so well to the drugs, it looks like the potential transfer out will be Thursday and the potential transfer back in will be Sunday or Monday. So this show is on the road for sure.

I am so bruised. My belly looks like a hot mess, I talked to the nurse about it today. The antagon shot, has the dullest needle ever. The first time Matt tried to jab it in it bounced back! I have about 3 little bruises and some big ugly green ones on each side of my belly button. It is super fetching, guess I will have to put away all my belly shirts (HAHAHAHA).

So that is all for now, I am still taking Antagon, Folltism and Menopur and then will be taking the HCG shot tomorrow which stimulates ovulation. So onward we trek.

Thanks for checking in!

Love,
Krista

Can I get a WHAT WHAT

Hey Everyone,

Two posts in one day, UNHEARD OF! Welp, I couldn't not post because......drum roll please.....the nurse called and said that the Doctor is VERY pleased with the way I am reacting to the medication. He said my Estrogen levels were fine and he will have me continue on the same dosage of Follitism and Menopur. I start the Antagon shots on Saturday, so we will slow these little follicles row, and then another check up on Monday to see where we are at.

Some good news. Finally.


Love,
Krista

Follictacular!

Hello all my favorite people,

I am feeling pret-ty good about this morning's Dr Appt. They did the regular ultrasound and blood testing and low and behold, I am a perfect patient. I had 10-12 follicles that were ranging in size from 12-14 mm, which is stellar. A quick reminder for those who aren't full of infertility knowledge like muah, when we were doing the IUI's they wouldn't signal ovulation until your follicles were at like 18-22 mm. Follicles grow 1-1.5 mm at day. So they are pretty large and in charge already.

They also tested my blood to make sure I am not too full of estrogen, if my levels are getting high, they will dial back the follitism a bit and have me start the antagon (the supressing shot) sometime this weekend. She said if I have to do that, it is good news, because I am reacting well.

This is what the follicles look like (this is not mine). But they are the voids in the clouded area. My ovaries have fewer, larger follicles which is awesome.  We want big mature ones for the transfer!

Other than that, not a whole lot to share. Just plugging away at the shots and hoping for a belly full of baby or babies, either would be nice. I would like two though, kinda like a two fer one deal.

Love you all!

Krista

Let the shots commence....

Shots start tonight! Super excited to get this ball rolling, waiting was getting incredibly tedious. I have a Dr. Appt on Friday to see where I am at. Then another Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on. If you see me one day, just assume I have been to the doctor or are going to the doctor.

I will try to post a video of the shot giving. I have had trouble with it in the past because it is too long an can't upload but I will try again.

Thanks all! Have a  beautiful evening. :)

Krista

All's Quiet on the Ovarian Front

Hey Ya'll,

Nothing super exciting. My ovaries are good and supressed as per my doctor appt Monday. We start the big show soon. I finish the birth control on Wednesday and start the stimulation medicine on Monday the 17th....so more to come.

Thanks for all your prayers, good thoughts and well wishes. I can't tell you how much it means to us.

Love,
Krista

Room Design Ideas, just for fun. :)

Love this cloud washed wall. The kit to do this is like 50.00 but I think it would be so cute for both boy and girl rooms. I prefer neutral everything anyway, so I probably wouldn't go strictly pink or blue even if we planned to find out what we are having.

I love these colors in this room. I can take or leave the fabric circles on the wall, but I just think this looks so airy and happy.

You can MAKE these. I was thinking that would be really need as nightlights. You have to use stuffing (not batting) and then you put the electric tea-lights in there. I think there is a specific brand or kind you have to use for fire safety, but too cool, right?

These are genius. They are painted spice racks from IKEA. I had always planned on having some sort of book shelving but this one is really adorable, and cheap on the ol'pocketbook.

This room is too cool. I don't know if the house we live in would be able to pull off something this cool, but I just thought it was neat. I really liked the idea of the open shelving, our bedrooms do not have conventional closets (farmhouse) so this would be a nice alternative.

Jenny Lind cribs are my favorite. I think they look timeless. I love the idea of painting one a color too, I love the idea of painting one either red, soft yellow or a minty green...

I plan, therefore I am.

Hey All,

I was just cleaning my bookshelves, I am slowly going digital and removing the paperback books from my collection. All important and hard cover books remain, mind you...but I found a book of fairy tales from Hans Christian Anderson that I had saved and a book of baby bedtime stories that Matt gave me on our first Christmas together. We laugh about that now, he was like, weren't you like, "awesome, thanks  for the book, weirdo I have been dating for 6 months"...but it all worked out.

I have a box of clothes I have bought or been given over the years, toys and dolls, decorations, artwork, an antique bassinet that has been in our family for generations. I have baby and kid cookbooks, books on being a great parent and fun stuff to do with your children. All waiting for Baby Hoffman or Babies Hoffman to arrive finally.

In our new house we have a loft-style bedroom. There is a larger master area and then a little room off of it that will be the baby's room. (My mom said that it was like the one I had when I was a baby, how cool is that). I measured our bedroom furniture and the littler room though, thinking, well if we end up with multiples, they are probably going to need more room then Matt and I need. We will just give them the "master" area and we will take the little room. Everything fits thankfully so I have that card in my back pocket in case I need it.

All those that know me well, know that planning is what I do. It keeps me calm.  Although I am comfortable with change of plans and one thing this whole experience has taught me that I sure as hell can't plan everything.

Love you all! Take care. :)

Krista

Doctor Consultation 1, Cycle 2 IVF

We went to the Doctor today for updates on the cycle.  I am going from 100 mg to 225 mg of follitism and the menopur dosage is going to remain the same. He said it is a tight rope act with people like me, just a little more pressure (drugs) can create be a problem or too little can do nothing, but there is no way to tell. He is fairly certain IVF will work for us. Fairly certain doesn't have me dancing in the streets though we are still cautiously optimistic.

Because we haven't gotten pregnant with IUI's means that I most likely have an egg quality issue as well. So saddled with PCOS and poor egg quality as I am, the Doc said that when they do IVF you are casting a MUCH wider net.Taking out 25 eggs instead of 1-2 eggs so he thinks that will help that situation. Hopefully it will, hopefully this will be it and we will be done.

I am still doing the birth control part, so I don't have any updates pertaining to meds or stuff like that. Although, the 225 mg of follitism will make me even crazier than before so that is something fun for Matt Hoffman to look forward to.

I am going to keep losing weight, I am down about 7 lbs that I had gained back, (argh, vacation) so that is a total of 13.2, I still have 11 to go to be back where I was 8-9 months ago, annoying, but all my fault. I have 6 weeks to lose 13.2 lbs, I am sure I can do it, that is a couple lbs a week. That will help the egg quality as well, so I have to do my part.

Well Ladies and Gents, thanks for reading. Lots of love to you all!

Love,
Krista Hoffman

IVF, take two!

I have nothing incredibly groundbreaking to share. I started the birth control part of the IVF cycle. You take birth control to supress your ovaries so they can harvest a ton of follicles when they do the transfer. We have a Dr. Appt on Tuesday to go over the treatment and why it failed. They are probably just going to up my follitism shot and call it a day, but we will see.

I will keep ya'll updated! :)

Lots o' love,
Krista

4th IUI was a no

Good Afternoon All,

Just an update, the 4th IUI was a no. I have been sick and not able to update since I found out. I wasn't too upset, I knew it wasn't going to work with the chances so low. I am just excited to start on IVF. If the schedule moves at the same time the last one did then I believe the transfer in and out will be the last week of September. So be ready for updates!

Love,
Krista

Waiting and waiting and waiting some more

Nothing new to report. Just waiting impatiently to find out if this treatment worked and move on the the next scheduled process. The two week wait is nice because you have a little while to actually have some hope, but it sucks because you don't know what is going on so you don't want to get your hopes too high. I told Matt I wish something happened that told you that you are pregnant right away. Like your nails turned red, or your tongue purple, something more instantaneous.

 But we will suffer through the wait like we always have. I only have 7 more days to go. No symptoms, of course, because you would most likely not show any yet anyway. It takes awhile for those hormones to build up once the egg implants. Also, taking Endometrin, a type of progesterone, mimics symptoms of pregnancy, which is sneaky and really kind of mean. Sore boobs and cramps can really mean anything at this point.

Welp, off to vacuum I go. Have a great day everyone!

Love,
Krista

Thanks Everyone!

I just wanted to take the time and thank everyone for all the well wishes and support. It means more to Matt and I then we can express. We will just keep on trucking right now and hope for the best.

Lots of Love,
Krista

Hoffman pity party, table for one

Hey Everyone,

I realize I have been incommunicado for a little while. I have bad news, I didn't react the way I should have to the Follitism shot. They gave me a lower dosage so I would not hyperstimulate, but my body apparently was not a fan and decided to not react at all. So when I went in, all I had was one big follicle hanging out on my left ovary. It was large though, 22 mm, and the nurse said that it probably means it is a really good egg. So they had to cancel the IVF cycle and do an IUI. For those that don't know, an IUI is interuterine insemination. It is where they take Matt's little swimmers, clean them up, remove all the slow ones and inject them back into my uterus via catheter. It is a much more natural procedure than IVF, which is why the odds are much lower. I, if course, was heartbroken to have to go back to IUI. I was so looking forward to this process, I wanted those 50/50 odds, not the IUI odds of 15-20%. So I have been incredibly mopey and poor Matt has to bear the brunt of it.

Let's move on the the good news, before I start my pity party all over again....

1.) The cycle was not a bust, I was still able to have some sort of procedure.
2.) Very little of the 7000.00 was used, so we have that in case we have to do this again.
3.) They start the next cycle right away so there is no wasted time.
4.) The chances of multiples are much lower, which means a pregnancy with less complications.
5.) There is an 86% chance after 4 cycles that you will be pregnant, so that is decent odds.
6.) The egg was the biggest I have ever had and probably a really good one.
7.) My uterine lining was nice and thick with the injectables. I am mentioning this because a side effect of clomid is a thin uterine lining and that may hurt implantation.

So you see, we do have a silver lining in my pitiful rain cloud.

I am looking into therapists and support groups dealing with this issue too. It would be nice to talk to people who are in the same boat and really understand what I am dealing with. That way Matt won't be the only person that has to deal with my mopetacular attitude. ;)

So, we will find out on the 8th if it worked. I am not getting my hopes up at all. After 3 failed attempts, you kind of take the situation as it is.

Lots of Love to you all! Thanks for reading. :)

Krista

Disheartened

I went to the Dr this am for a ultrasound and blood work. I had a bunch of follicles, one that was 16, one 13, 12, 11, 9, 12, and 13. There was about 7-8 together on both ovaries. The nurse was a little surprised at the 16 one, they said that they all should be around the same size. She said that the Dr may want me to start Antagon tonight which is a shot that slows growth and promotes more follicles to pop up. She said she would call.

So I get a call at lunch time and she said that after getting the blood work back, that my estrogen levels are lower then expected so they are going to hold off on the Antagon. It could change for tomorrow's appointment but it is really up the air. They can cancel the procedure, wait longer for the transfer, switch it to an IUI, or I could have my estrogen levels increase and everything will be fine.

I, of course, tend to be pessimistic when it comes to these things because we have had such rough luck with fertility. Today was a little disheartening for sure, but tomorrow is a new day! So we will focus on the good and learn from the bad.

Lots of Love to you all :)
Krista

Things that made me laugh...

Shots and Follicles: Part 1

I have been taking my follitism and menapur each night. By taking, I mean having Dr. Hoffman poke me in my belly and thighs with needles. Fortunately, I have enough belly fat to make it much less painful then it could be (That's right skinny girls, sucks to be you). The first time we did it, we forgot to let the alcohol dry and that hurt like a mofo. Now it is just a routine. Although, I am having a few side effects to the medicine. I am having some headaches, cramping, bat shit craziness, and fatigue.  Silly Matt Hoffman said the wrong thing to me Thursday morning and I flew of the handle. I was screaming, pointing, slamming doors, the whole enchilada. Then I drove to work whistling some merry tune about an hour later. Later on, at work,  I was staring at my computer screen and started crying. What about you ask, well it was nothing. I was staring at my computer and I just started crying. Matt is now calling me the " Emotional Rollercoaster" and you can imagine how much I LOVE that.

I also went to the Dr. today and the measured the follicles. Estrogen levels are good and I have four decent sized follicles popping up, two on each ovary. Follicles are basically eggs when they are still attached the the ovaries, in case you didn't know. One was like 12mm, another was 11, and then there was like a 9 and an 8 or something like that. She said that I will probably have a bunch more pop up towards the end which is good stuff. The news I was most excited about though is that I am reacting to the medicine the way that I am supposed to be. No need to change or alter the medication, no hyperstimulation at this point, I am reacting like a normal person medically inducing the creation of life.

On pins and needles

Here is a picture of my arm with the pins from acupuncture. It doesn't hurt normally, today it was actually super relaxing. It feels like your body is awake, it tingles. I was explaining to my Mom and that it was like the moment after your leg or foot or whatever wakes up after being asleep.  I tried to get a few more pictures but they turn the lights off so I couldn't get my phone to not flash like crazy, it must have been reflecting off my whitest of white skin.
I will try to get some off my leg or belly next time, that is where the majority of the needles go.
It's kind of neat though, I would suggest it for stress relief any day.

Lots of Love,
Krista

Supression is done, man.

There is nothing too post worthy has been going on, I am in a holding patttern right now. I did complete the birth control, so that is good. All the suppressing of the ovaries are complete and we start the shots on Monday. Then I have acupuncture. I have yoga for fertility dvd I plan on doing today, some of those moves are so funny, maybe I will post me doing one, just so you can see it.....

Estimated due date, just for fun!

Based on a retrieval date of July 27 and a sperm/egg fusion of July 29th, the due dates could be as follows:

For Singletons: April 20th

For Twins: March 29th

Since we are not pregnant nor have we done any procedures, this is just to make me smile. I would love twins but the birthstone of April is a diamond,which I much prefer to aquamarine (March). So if those twins could hold it in for a couple more days I could get come out of the deal with a pair of babies and diamonds. ;D

Command Center up and Running

A little more organized. I have two injectable bins and then one for daily medicines. The calender is peel and stick and I just outlined my fertility appts, the medicine begin and end dates and the acupuncture appts. I feel like a million times better just getting this together. I still need to get a cork board but that can wait til next week. Now I don't feel like my kitchen is a mess either, which is nice.

PTO and Dr. Appts

So I figured out today that I have 9 scheduled Dr. Appts from today until the 25th. But I did find out that it looks pretty good for my work to let me be out 5 days with no pay instead of having to take FMLA and needing medical releases and all that, which is nice. I have to say, Paychex, my supervisors, managers, and my co-workers have been nothing but awesome and supportive about this whole thing. Alot of corporations overlook the humanistic aspect of their employees and just see numbers, but Paychex has really been stellar about the whole thing.

Needles and Enya = some sweet ass acupuncture

SO! I made all my acupuncture appts today, well, let me amend that statement by saying I have made 3 acupuncture appts today leading up to all the big stuff. Acupuncture is "supposed" to increase fertility chances by anywhere from 35-65%, depending on the sources and research you do. Why it works, there are differing ideas:

1.) It gets the blood moving to the uterus and essentially "wakes" up the nervous system.
2.) It is damn relaxing and women who are going through fertility are all stressed out. It calms them down and boosts the chances of implantation and pregnancy.
3.) Placebo effect

I have done it already, it doesn't hurt and I usually snooze through the whole thing.

I will take a couple pics so you can see me all pinned up. It is pretty neat.

Lots of love to you all!
Krista

Plans and such

Today's appointment was something. We had to go through the treatment and all the what ifs. There is a real danger of hyperstimulation which causes a fluid build up in your lungs, kidneys, and abdomen. You can be hospitialized and it can be potentially fatal. BUT, I trust my Doctor and the plans that we have in set up in order to avoid all that nonsense.

Plan A: My body acts like a rockstar on the meds. I can do a regular cycle, throw some fresh embryos in there and call it a day until the blood test for pregnancy.

Plan B: This plan is not my favorite. It would be if I get that hyperstimulation, then they would stop the cycle, we would be out 3500.00 and then we would have to wait a month to to a frozen cycle with three embryos.

Plan C: I react well to lower dosages of all the meds. No hyperstimulation, no illness, just a plain cycle with lower dosage of drugs. Almost like Plan A light.

So really it is a waiting game at this point. I am taking birth control until the 11th (weird right, taking birth control to get pregnant) and then I have an appoinment on the 9th for a check in. We did go over all the drugs and I am feeling more confident on getting injected with multiple medicines every night.

This weekend,  I am going to create a Fertility Comand Center in my kitchen with cork and dry erase boards to keep this straight. I will take pictures once it is up and running. I need to have some way of tracking the meds and all the appoinments.

That's all for now Ladies and Gents, thanks for reading. :)

Names for the future leader of the free world... ;)

WOW! I am post crazy today. My sister suggested that I mention some of the names we have talked about for when I get pregnant. We are trying to figure out twin's names too because they are going to transfer two embryos and the chance of twins is high. And the names we like:

Girl 1: Arabella Grace Hoffman
Girl 2: Adelaide Louise Hoffman
Boy 1: Henry Paul Hoffman
Boy 2: Max Albert Hoffman

These are all, of course subject to change. But my husband has been throwing out some doozies that I think would be funny to share.

1. Icarus-  (really, Icarus, I was like Matt, you want our kids nickname to be Icky?)
2. Maximus- since we are going to have a Max he wanted to give him a full name. He also mentioned Maximillion.
3. Albert Henry Hoffman- now this is his Dad's name and I think it is super cute that he wants to honor his Dad. So we came up with Henry (Matt's Dad) Paul (My Dad). But that was a begrudging compromise. He really wants to have a Baby Al.

I wish I could think of the rest of them that he threw out there.  He hated a few that I mentioned as well:

1.) Zoe - he thinks it sounds like a good name for a cat- I think he is thinking of Chloe and getting them mixed up. I LOVE Zoe. I think it is adorable.
2.) Colette or Vivienne - Apparently they sound too much like french prostitutes for him.

So I guess we will just cross the baby name bridge when we get to it!

Lovety Love this T-shirt

I found this shirt on Cafe Press and thought it was too funny. It says, "Conceived in a dish, born into awesomeness". Totally buying that!

More needles than a drug addict: MEDS GALORE

So let's see, on this road to fertility (I hate using that term because it sounds so damn hokey, but it is what it is), we have had 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks. We have done 3 IUI's (Inseminations) with negative outcomes, so we are starting IVF this month.

So far we have done the trial transfer, where they check out the ol' uterus to see if everything is copasetic. It was. Then I cleared a pharmacy out of the meds, which was nice and expensive. I have included a pic of the good stuff above. We have an appointment with the nurse on Tuesday so she can go over the medications and Matt adminstering them. More to come on that. Welp, I need to go clean and make some egg salad for the week now... :)

Introducing...The Hoffman's..

This is my husband and I, we have been married for 7 years, together for 13 and trying to get pregnant for 6 years. He is pretty awesome. The reason for the fertility issues is I have PCOS, a stupid hereditary disease that has a plethora of fun symptoms. But the real kicker of it is it, is makes it pretty difficult to get pregnant on your own, well that and it is incredibly difficult to lose weight but that is a story for a whole different blog. ;)