Thursday, February 21, 2013

23 weeks pregnant

23 Weeks Y'all!


The babies are the size of grapefruits.


  • They are forming tiny little nipples.
  • Their faces are fully formed, just need fat to fill those suckers out.
  • They are listening to sounds intently now. Dogs, trains, voices, music- they can hear it all.
  • They can possibly be seen moving on the outside of the body now.
  • Chances of survival are 10-35% this week increasing 3-4% each day unto the 24 week mark.

Good news, the babies are getting big and moving all the time. They are really getting to be quite the little kickers in there. Bad news, I had three more bleeding incidents. They just can't figure out where the bleed is coming from. They are taking it very seriously though, both my high risk and OB, so that makes me feel better.  It's scary for me because usually the type of bleeding that I am having does not always have the best of outcomes. But Matt and I continue to stay positive and each time that they kick me or squirm in there, it is a great sense of relief. So needless to say, I am still taking it easy, I am in bed or on the couch probably 90% of my day which is good.

Oh, fun new things about being pregnant:
  • I pee 62 times a day. Seriously it feels like 62 times a day. These two must be just hanging out on my bladder.
  • I am hairy, like Teen Wolf. Shaving every 2 days is almost not enough. I have never had body hair grow this quickly in my life. Matt calls me Burt Reynolds now, which I love. ;)
  • I have 2 stretch marks so far. They are on the sides of my belly. I have been using Palmer's so I think maybe that is helping.
  • I have gained 6 lbs total! So this truly is a fun new thing, it makes me so happy that I am not gaining like gangbusters.
  • I cry at the drop of a hat. I don't usually cry a ton, but lately just a ill look my way sends me into hysterical sobs.Seriously, I can't stop, these two little hormone factories inside of me have really made me a weepy mess.
Matt got the bedding washed and in, I will include a photo of it. It is so cute. Bumper free and really soft and cozy. I have the mural art that came with the pack and now I have NO idea what to do with it. I thought it was much smaller than it really is. I don't know if the canvas that I have will even be able to show 2-3 giraffes on it because of how large the mural stickers are. I was mulling over the idea of doing a border around the room because the room is smaller and I have a lot of mural stickers, but I don't know. Sometimes borders are hokey looking. I will figure it out though and then Matt will execute.

SUPER excited for the baby shower coming up.The food theme apparently is "Foods that Krista loves", so that is going to be delicious. I can't wait to celebrate these two little monkeys with all my family and friends. :)

Lots of Love,
Krista




Monday, February 18, 2013

Gender Reveal! :)

We have one of each now! So excited. So our boy is going to be named Henry Paul Hoffman and our little lady is going to be Adelaide Louise Hoffman (we will call her Addie Lou). I can't wait for these little munchkins to arrive so I can hold and kiss them. :)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

22 Weeks pregnant

 Hello Friends,





The babies are the size of a Papaya!

  • They have newly developed eyes and lips so they are looking more humanoid now.
  • They sleep in cycles 12-14 hours a day.
  • Their irises have formed but lack pigment.
  • They are developing tiny tooth buds under their gums.

It is nice to the other side of the hill now. We are closer to them being born then not which is such a good feeling. At the end of this month, if the babies were born, they may survive on their own. I pray to God that doesn't happen but that is reassuring. I was going back through my posts and I actually was amazed at how hard we had to work to get to this point. It is funny how that happens!

The Dr's want me to continue modified bed rest and activity. They really have no idea what caused the clots, the shortened cervix, and the bleeding. It seems that having me stay home has been a good situation, they don't want me to take shots, no need for cerclage, nothing except modified bed rest at this point.

 My cervix is holding strong so that is awesome. They are going to measure it again on the 28th of February.  I actually didn't know this before (and why would I really?) but I have a muscle or stretch of skin that is partially covering my cervix and my cervix is really far back, and that is just genetic to me. So that skin/muscle is helping the cervix stay longer and the babies stay in at this point. Will  it potentially effect the birth plan, possibly.... It , as well as the twin aspect, and Baby B being breech all lend to a C-section. Which is not what I wanted but it is what it is.

The room is starting to come together. It makes it more real. I have moments where I am like, HOLY CRAP, I am going to be a parent for the rest of my life. It is amazing and sobering and scary. I just hope that I am good at it.

Love you All! :)
Krista







Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Blessed

Hello Everyone,

Today, as I am updating the baby registries and working on my sweet children's baby books, I think of how long it has taken us to get here and what toll it had on both of us. People don't realize how much both Matt and I hold our emotions in. You would see my smile and my laugh and think all was great, but I can hide my feelings well. Matt is pretty stoic, he never lets people see his feelings. This is our story of what we felt then to show how unimaginably fortunate we feel now.

We have been actively trying to get pregnant since we were 26. We did what most people do, stop taking the necessary precautions against pregnancy and hope that nature would take its course. After a year of trying with no results, we saw the first Dr. He suggested that we go see a specialist and get tested. Matt and I at this point, thought it was just poor luck, we thought we were just getting the timing incorrect. We didn't think that there was a huge issue, so we didn't persist.

The next year, my brother and his wife got pregnant with the first, my wonderful little niece Lilly. I immediately went home and cried. It is ,of course, not their fault, I think it was the fact that I didn't realize HOW much I wanted a child at that point. Every time I held that little blond angel, it was like my heart ached for what I couldn't achieve. I mean, getting pregnant should be easy, it is what we are made for. So we started being a little more active in our pursuit for children.

Our next step was basal body temperature measurement. We started taking my temperature each day and then as it goes up you record it and start peeing on those uber expensive ovulation strips to try to figure out when we had an open window. With PCOS, you can ovulate every three months or once a month for 2 months and not for the next 4, so that, of course, was a bust.

All the while, well meaning people keep asking as they do when you are married for a little while, when are you having kids, you better get working on those kids, one of my uncles even said, You better have kids soon, the clocks ticking away. At that point, we weren't ready to tell people about the troubles, we didn't know what was going on, if it would continue, and didn't want people to talk about "those poor Hoffmans that can't have a baby". So we lied. We said we wanted to save money, or weren't ready yet, just to fend off the questions. In retrospect, that was really more of my thing than anyone else's but we kind of became more absent at extended family gatherings. I just couldn't handle all the questions.

So then we started using the ovu-watch and that didn't work either. Now, I am 28 and three years of trying to have a baby have passed. This is, of course, the time when EVERYONE starts having a baby. Each new pregnancy being a tiny adorable arrow to my heart. It wasn't that I wasn't happy for people, it was just a painful reminder of what Matt and I both wanted so dearly. We started to search for fertility doctors and try to see what exactly was causing the issue. We finally found one in Geneva by the name of Dr. Robert Springer. He specializes in people with PCOS so I felt comfortable with him. This began the years of testing and treatments.

We both were tested before the treatments began. I have PCOS and that was really our only hurdle. Matt's sperm count was fine, my tubes were fine (that test btw, is not fun and somewhat painful), it was basically all me. So with the treatments we first tried clomid on our own for a 4-5 months. That didn't work, we could never get the timing correct. Then we tried clomid with monitored visits for a few months and nothing. So finally we leapt into IUI's. The first I had, we used clomid and I didn't react. So we upped the amount of clomid and did an IUI and it didn't take. I was devastated, I thought once the Dr was really involved it would be a snap.

We had a consultation and the Dr and he said if I lost weight it would help. So I  joined weight watchers and started trying to lose weight. I had lost like 5 lbs and low and behold, we got pregnant naturally that September. I really can't express the elation we felt. We both hugged and cried and hugged some more. God had finally granted our prayers! Matt doted on me, making me eat weird green veggie shakes and grilled chicken all the time so our baby would be strong and healthy. We bought clothes, started buying toys, we were just so excited. Weeks passed and the baby was developing wonderfully. Around 8 weeks, I had some light bleeding. The Dr said it is normal, just keep your feet up and relax. So I didn't worry, I went along thinking all was well  and that our little bundle was healthy and happy. At this point too, my sister in law was pregnant with their 4th, Logan. It was so exciting because I thought they would be close in ages and could play together. It was like all the moons aligned or something.

Around 12 weeks, I had a little more bleeding. I was more freaked out this time, I hadn't been monitored yet so no one could tell me what was going on. Matt came home from work and we went to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and that baby was gone. It had stopped growing at 8 weeks when I had the first bleeding and we had just thought all was fine. I am sobbing in the ultrasound chair, Matt is trying to comfort me but all I can feel is this terrible heart wrenching loss. This baby, our sweet little baby, was not there anymore. My family came to try to comfort me but it just wasn't going to happen. This happened on a Friday and they scheduled a D&C on Monday to remove our baby.

On Sunday night, I started having horrible cramps. I was in bed and crying from pain, trying to use a heating pad and some aspirin to curb the pain. I got up to use the restroom and it was like a bucket of blood was pouring out of me. I honestly have never seen so much blood in my life. I moved to the shower and it continued to pour our of me. Matt was so worried, I have never seen him like that before and never again since. He was calling the ER, which called our OB and she said that it was just the baby passing naturally. This lasted for the 15-20 minutes. Once the bleeding subsided, I was exhausted. I wrapped towels around me and fell asleep.

I stayed out of work for a week. I woke up every morning and sobbed. Matt would come downstairs and hold me on the couch. Then we would sit there for awhile, just feeling lost. We would try to do stuff to stay busy. We saw some movies, went out to lunch, and Christmas shopped. I forgot to mention that this all happened a week before Christmas. My sister in law had little Logan, and I just couldn't handle seeing him right away. With the loss so fresh, it was like ripping my heart over and over again, I was just too emotional to handle it. Time slowly passed and I was able to function more, I went back to work and was able to hold the adorable little fella finally. Christmas had a sad cloud over it but we had each other and our families so that helped tremendously. Miscarriage is a horrible loss on it's own, but compounded with fertility issues, it is devastating.

To add insult to injury, we had switched insurances to Matt's when I found out I was pregnant. We wanted to make the change early so we could get the Dr information together early for the labor and delivery. Matt's insurance doesn't cover ANY fertility treatments at all. So we had to wait for another year to pass before we could start back up again. The year went by, Matt and I healed somewhat from our loss and trudged on to the next treatments. I had been diligently working out and doing weight watchers, so I had lost 28 lbs to go into the next round of treatments. We felt pretty good about that.

Dr. Springer seemed pretty confident that IUI's would work for us. Nothing was for sure, of course, but it was a good possibility that it would work. So we did 4 IUI's with no result. People who don't have fertility issues, don't really understand how painful those ups and downs are. The hope, the loss of hope, the crying and feeling of inadequacy, it is rough on a person and hard on a marriage. Not including the money spent but just the emotion attached. We leaned on each other for support and our marriage is the stronger for it, thankfully.

Finally we decided to do the IVF treatments, and that is where our story begins on this blog. Most people have been wonderfully supportive and kind throughout this whole ordeal, and I thank you all for that. I just wanted to document how we have worked for this and prayed for this and just are so blessed to have these two little angels coming into our lives.

Sorry this is so long!

Lots of Love,
Krista



Monday, February 11, 2013

21 Week Pic of me


Please ignore the poor love fern in the corner. That poor thing has needed to be repotted for like a year now and I always forget to do it. Hopefully soon though, just need to get the planter inside, have Matt carry in the dirt and pot it for me. So basically Matt will be repotting it. LOL. :)


Lots of Love,
Krista

A place for twins to call home



Hey Y'all,

So here are a couple pics of the room so far. Matt has really only got the bones up. I mean cribs, dresser, and paint. Matt is getting a new lighting fixture at Lowe's and the bedding will come this week probably so I will try to get more pics once it is in.


The paint is like a creamy yellow in case you can't make that out in the picture. --------------->




If you are thinking the dresser is a little more stained than the cribs are you are right. I was annoyed at first but it is highly improbable that I will send it back and get a dye lot closer to the cribs, each are so different. So I will deal with it. It isn't quite as bad as this picture portrays, I think it was the light in the room that made it look extra yellow. The car seats are below. I can't wait to get them in the car. They look so little right now to me. But I guess the babies will be little so it makes sense. ;)

That's all for now! Lots of Love to you all,
Krista


Thursday, February 7, 2013

21 Weeks Pregnant

Hello Everyone!! 
 
 
 
This week the babies are the size of a pomegranate!
 
 
    They are producing meconium, the tar-like   substance that will be in their first diaper.... Ew.

If there is a girl, then she has produced all the eggs in her ovaries that she will have for her lifetime. There are about 6 million in there.






     
    Things about this week.... well the babies are moving so much more than they had before. They are really kicking and squirming. It is a neat feeling. I told Matt it's like having a couple tiny frogs in you. We have the dresser, Matt put it together and he got some clothes washed and put away. I bought some shadow boxes online for their first day home outfits and then a couple canvases to create artwork.
    The bedding I am getting is from Skip Hop. It is called giraffes on parade or something like that. I like it because it is bumper free, modern and not cutesy (I am not a fan of cutesy) and I dig the colors. The artwork I mentioned above will do something with those decals. I am not sure what yet but I wanted to put them on canvases instead of the wall.
     
    Man ALIVE do I want to get the Jonathan Adler giraffe lamp. But that is way to expensive for the likes of me or a nursery for that matter.  I saw a blog where a girl found a similar lamp and spray painted it white. I may have Matt do that if I can find one. Otherwise, I put a teal one on my registry so that will work fine too. :)
     
    My baby shower is scheduled for March 2nd so my wonderful family are getting the invites ready and the surprise gender reveal photo that will be included. I can't wait for everyone to celebrate with us.

    Well, I have an OB appt with Dr West soon so I better start getting ready! Hopefully she will have good news for us. I make a list of questions every time I see her so thank god she is patient. :)


    Lots of Love!
    Krista

Thursday, January 31, 2013

20 Weeks Pregnant



Hello ALL!

This is the big one. I am considered truly halfway at this point... I can't believe I have even made it this far with all the ups and downs we have had.

So this week the babies are as big as bananas!

  • They have working taste buds.

  • Now, they are gulping down several ounces of amniotic fluid each day -- that's significantly more than before.


  • We had a Dr appt yesterday with the High Risk OB at Rush Copley. They said my previa is still gone and my cervix measured at like 3.6, so it is higher than it was last week. They took my off full bed rest and said I can do moderate activity which is exciting. I was able to cook again last night which made Matt and I pretty happy. Then they are measuring it again in two weeks. So we will see where we are at then....
     
    Babies are GREAT! They are:
     
    Baby A: 19 weeks 6 days measuring at 11 oz
    Baby B: 20 weeks 3 days measuring at 13 oz
     
    Their hearts, kidneys, brains, spinal columns and lungs were all perfect. Baby B was being uncooperative so she shook my belly to get the baby to move. The baby then shook it's head back and forth, like it was saying no. It was really cute. :)
     
    Cribs are up, Matt is washing clothes this week and I think the dresser comes this week as well so we can get them all put away. Matt's parents bought the car seats and the dresser which was awesome, we opened the car seats up and they are great.  My mom is getting the bedding shortly and then we can get that washed and in as well. My Mom also bought their going home from the hospital outfits, which are a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e.  We have a couple art projects to make for their room and then we are pretty close to done with it. OH! I also ordered my breast pump from Aetna (my insurance provider) because it is now covered under the affordable health care act. It should be here in 4-6 weeks.

    I know my baby shower is being feverishly worked on which I really appreciate. I keep having moments of panic where I am like, there is still so much to buy and do. But then my Mom and Matt talk me down every time, thank the lord for level heads when my pregnancy hormones are raging.
     
    For all those reading, I can't thank you enough for everything you have done and continue to do. I love you all very much and I know my little munchkins will too.
     
    Lots of Love,
    Krista

    19 weeks ...I know, I know, I am LATE!



    So I am late on this one. In my defense, posting anything on this from my Ipad is frigging IMPOSSIBLE! :)

    So they babies were the size of Mangoes at 19 weeks.


    •  They are developing a protective coating over their skin, called vernix caseosa. It's greasy and white and you may see some of it at their birth.
    • Working on their five senses. Nerve cells for their sense of taste, hearing, sight and smell are developing in their brain.
    For me, I am doing pretty good. I was in bed all last week which was super boring. But I did catch up on some reading and I watched some Dead Zone which was good stuff. Poor Matt did EVERYTHING this week. I felt so bad, I am sure he loved to be my waiter. But the babies are really kicking up a storm now. Matt can feel it on the outside now!

    We did have a little scare and ended up in the emergency room again. The babies were fine but I was super scared. I won't get into gory details, but yikes it was terrible. The funny part is when the ultrasound tech scanned me with that ER visit, no previa....So weird. I guess nothing about my body or this pregnancy is going to be normal though. Keeps me on my toes, hahahahaha. :)


    Love,
    Krista

    Monday, January 21, 2013

    Bed Rest Week 1

    Welp. This is an interesting feat, being on bedrest. I thought it would be nice to relax and get some rest. It is so boring. I have my kindle and I downloaded a TON of free classics that I never got around to reading. I have my Nintendo DS, I have to get some more games because the two I have aren't cutting it anymore. I have the Ipad which has Netflix on it and that has been pretty great. I am going to get picture books to organize photos and start working on the babies Memory Books. I also have a recipe project that I can work on and some word searches that I can do. But I miss leaving the house already and it has been 4 days. I can't complain, I guess, I have two beautiful little babies in there that I have to keep safe.I just keep looking at the pictures of the babies and how they are the ones that I am doing this for, because I miss getting up and doing stuff already. I could possibly have 4 more months of this so I guess I better get used to it.

    Lots of Love,
    Krista

    Friday, January 18, 2013

    Me with the twins at 17 weeks!

    I look tired but I promise I am not. :)

    18 Weeks Pregnant ...about halfway!


    Again with the photos! This thing is just not working for me lately. Hooray! I lied. Here it is!!

    So the babies are the size of a sweet potato.

    • They are hiccuping, swallowing, yawning and sucking their thumbs.
    • They are twisting, punching and kicking... I am surely feeling that now! :)
    • Their ears are in their final positions.
    • Their genders can start to be distinguished at this time.

    So we went to the high risk guy on Thursday. He had some news that I was not happy about. Two things really, I have placenta previa, where one of the babies placenta's are covering part of the cervix. That accounts for my bleeding episodes and they said it usually moves away on it's own. I also have a shortening cervix. It went from like 3.2 to 2.8 so he wanted me put on moderate bed rest. He told me to stay home from work and then they are going to check it next Friday to see where we are at. If it shortens anymore, I am guessing my working days are over. He said he is just being really cautious, there is no need for incredible alarm at this point. He said 2.6 is the lowest that he wants it to be at before we start to worry and possibly add medication. So that's where I am at right now with that.

    Good news...the babies are awesome. We found out the tentative gender and it is fantastic. :) I won't share anything else yet because we are really not sure at this point. They are getting so big, you can really make out their features in the ultrasound pics, which is so cute. So excited for them to grow. I want them to stay in there as long as they can!

    Lots of Love,
    Krista

    Monday, January 14, 2013

    17 weeks



    This week our babies are the size of a large onion! :)


    For some reason- it won't let me upload a picture of a large onion but you all know what they look like. :)


    • Their skeletons are changing and becoming bone instead of soft cartilage.
    • Their umbilical cords are stronger.
    • They can move their joints and are creating sweat glands.

    Last week, we had another bleeding incident. Went to the Dr in a hurry and both little heartbeats were good. We had 153 and 154. I have a high risk appt this Thursday and Matt won paper, rock, scissors, so if we can, we will find out.

    I am really having trouble moving around now, waddling when I walk and getting off the couch is a challenge. I don't think that I have gained much weight though. Last time I went, I had gained 2 lbs total. That was two weeks ago but I have been really good with food, so we will see.

    Went and got some cribs last weekend. They are the natural color (I know, I orginally was going with white) and the mattresses. So we are getting there. I can't wait to get the room together. I will feel good and accomplished then.

    Lots of Love to you all,
    Krista

    Sunday, January 6, 2013

    16 Weeks Pregnant



    Our babies are the size of an Avocado!




    • They are listening to sounds and voices now due to tiny little bones in their ears.
    • They are growing hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows.
    • They are still forming taste buds.
    • They are growing toenails.
    • The patterning of their scalps have begun for their hair follicles.
    • Their hearts are pumping 25 quarts of blood a day.
    Here is what fraternal twins look like at this stage:


     
     Well New Years Day held an unfortunate surprise for us. The Hemotoma came back and reared it's ugly head again. I thought that thing was gone. Oh no. It was hiding. So I started bleeding again which is always friggin scary. But then, at my Dr appt on Thursday we saw the babies and they are great! ANNNNND the HEMOTOMA is finally gone. :) So happy. They were twisting and turning and generally shaking it up in there which was fun to see. Baby A is 5 oz and Baby B is 6 oz. I can't believe how much I love them already.